Just spent the weekend with my mum and my kids. I recognized that there is a distance with my mum as I am not able to share with her the changes and the journey that I am going through with my new “daygame lifestyle”. I have fear that even if I do get vulnerable and honest with her she won’t understand and it will just raise more questions than it solves. I also have fear that I won’t have all the answers.
Fear of women is an issue for me and it started with my mum. To break through that and truly have my red pill awakening I am going to need to be honest and vulnerable with my mum and risk her not understanding, judging confronting, and getting angry at me.
But for the moment my mind is all up in the air regarding my new lifestyle change. It’s hard enough to convey what I am doing to my male friends, let alone my mum. Even my male friends don’t fully appreciate why I am doing this, they think I am just ballsy, jumping in front of girls and encourage me to become this elusive “player”. But the “what” and the “why” are pretty big questions.
What is this
This is a conscious decision of mine to not live with my kids and their mum. To not commit to a 9-5 job or even really focus on my business. To not join the ranks of fathers all over the world driving their kids to football on Saturday mornings and be there for dinner and breakfast. Instead I am choosing to live in a shared house in Brisbane and chase tail. I have chosen to focus all my energy on daygame and becoming a master seducer. Haha, I can see why this is a hard thing to tell my very conservative mum.
Why am I doing it?
In my early years with the kids mum I imagined I would be rich and have regular affairs with younger women. I could imagine having an apartment in Mooloolaba and “keeping” a young beautiful woman. But I never became rich and this gangster fantasy is probably a bit old fashion, as nowhere near as many hot women need a provider like that in this day and age.
In my thirtes I embraced my inner introvert and learnt to enjoy my own company and met my sexual needs through trips to Thailand and Philippines. I hadn’t yet taken the red pill, but it was a really enjoyable part of my life. I worked a lot and set my businesses up to run profitably without me. The novelty of abundant Thai pussy never wore off.
Then in June 2015 I got into a relationship was an Australian girl. The intimacy and sex, and flood of “love” chemicals over powered me and I realized that the life I had been living was very superficial and I wanted this “love experience” much more than sex. I believed the planets had aligned and the spirits had conspired and she was my soul mate. A few months later we broke up.
After a few weeks of celibacy I decided to read some books about dating. This opened a whole new world for me and is how I got into daygame. Not only did I find hope that I could attract and seduce the women I wanted, but I have also had a number of awakenings.
I have started the red pill experience of revealing our feminized society, and how I don’t have to play by that culture even if my conditioning makes me believe I should. I am only a small way through this red pill awakening and maybe that is why I am unable to have an honest relationship with my mum. I am still unsure about what is real and what is feminized guilt. My beliefs have not caught up to my actions.
I am also learning what sort of a man women really want on a biological level. Again this is a slow awakening and conditioning from my mum needs to be unwound. I am coming to terms with my own nature and still learning if I can be monogamous long term. More importantly, I am coming to terms with what I need to be, to be happy in a monogamous relationship. I’m starting to see the true hypergamous nature of women and the strengths that are needed in a man to keep them enthused and excited to be with that man.
I believe daygame can give me those strengths. This is a journey, an unveiling of the layers of denial caused by my feminized social conditioning. Books can help, but they are really only supplement my in-field experiments and exercises to overcome my fear of woman and develop into the sort of man I want to be and women can respect.
I need to go through the process of learning how to attract and seduce women. I need to obtain the skillset needed to always have the ability to create sexual abundance in my life. To do that I need to first have a sexual abundance, live it, get used to and grow to expect and rely upon it.
This lifestyle might do me forever or I might commit to a monogamous, or polygamous relationship. But the main thing is I will have choices. I will no longer consider settling for what most men do out of fear of not having their sexual or emotional needs met. I will be free to choose my own path.