I had connected with a guy I had met through an online forum who was doing daygame and he invited me to meet him in the city and do some approaches. At this stage I still hadn’t approached any girls, especially in the direct manner that daygame seemed to be suitable for.
I had done plenty of research and watched lots of videos and it appeared that everyone was doing the “Yad” stop. The yad stop is where the girl is walking and you jog past her, turn around, and stop in her tracks saying ” Excuse me, can I tell you something really quickly? I just walked past you and I thought you looked really nice so I had to come and say hello.”
Since that’s what the gurus were doing I thought I should just do what they say. I also liked the audacity of it and the fact that there was nothing meek about it. But I also thought it was a bit full on to do without any practice first, so practice is what I did.
Preparation for my first approach.
First I set up my phone to film me doing Yad stops. I would do about 6 in succession and then watch the footage and recognize if I was smiling too much, or not enough, body language was week, not loud enough etc.
This was such a big help and I would recommend it to anyone, it might even be more effective with a friend and you could role-play, but for me even on my own was a huge help. This gave me a lot of confidence, but most important thing was getting this series of actions and words as part of my muscle memory. By the time I did my first approach I was able to do on autopilot with much less fear because my body had done it before.
First Approach in The Wild
So there I was with my new found friend in the Queen Street Mall of Brisbane. He had done a couple of approaches, by walking up along side a girl, which from my vantage point looked pretty week, and they didn’t stop very long for him. I decided I was going to jump in boots and all and do the full on Yad stop.
Now I said before that the practice had enabled my to go into autopilot without fear, that’s true, but only the approach part, not the pre-approach anxiety. I was terrified, but knew how shit I was going to feel if I didn’t approach anyone so not doing it was not an option. I wasn’t leaving until I had done at least one.
A hot well-dressed blond in her mid to late 20’s walked past where we were standing and I thought to myself it’s now or never. She’s about as picture-perfect as a girl I would hope to approach, so off I went. I walked behind her for a few paces and then broke into a jog counting 1-2-3-4 as per the video training, so you would have enough room between you and the girl when you stopped. I turned around looked up at her and said my line perfectly.
I had done it perfectly, the approach, the line, everything. She smiled and looked at me warmly and I stood there and played with my hat that I was holding in my hands. I stared up at her and realized how beautiful she was and I was completely lost for words. I think I mumbled some comment at how nice her eyes were. She said thanks for the compliment but she had to go and had a boyfriend anyway.
I had completely butchered the part after my perfect approach, but was able to laugh about it and use the lessons. I knew in time I would get better and be able to actually string a few more words together and not need something in my hands to fiddle with.