Met her in the city on a run of good vibe, she was a pretty Columbian girl I guessed at being about 25. She had a pretty smile and nice energy although her hands looked a bit puffy and body a bit flabby, still she was certainly fuckable and I knew I would have no trouble with the desire to seduce.
She replied to my texts quickly and I thought I really had a yes girl. I stayed aloof via text and when it came to confirming the date at 3pm she said she was busy and didn’t think it was confirmed, but was keen to meet that evening at 8pm. I half expected her to flake, but she messaged at 8.10pm and we met at Southbank.
I had spent the previous hour doing a couple approaches and just checking out some locations for our date. I thought getting our feet in the sand might be nice and checked out the other pubs near the lagoon, but in the end decided a seat by the river as V1, then if she wanted a drink I would take her to a Squire’s, a loud busy bar just near there, and then Pig and Whistle, much quieter with relaxed bench seating for V3.
We sat by the river and I did my best not to give her too much attention. We shared my water bottle, so it felt like we had agreed to kiss. After 10 minutes I turned towards her and gave her more attention, we allowed our knees to touch and I played with her arms as we joked about her burns from her kitchen job. Everything was cool and relaxed and going really well. I bounced her for a drink and we talked about comfort topics on the way to Squires, but it was busy and very noisy and she didn’t like it much so was eager when I suggested a quieter one just up the road. So we skipped to V3. This was actually a pretty good idea. Pig and Whistle was probably a bit bright for V3 anyway and more suited to V2.
I bought her a drink and told her to go and get us a seat in the corner pointing to the booth. Once I got her drink I noticed she had chosen the table with chairs rather than the booth with couches – never mind, I can still work with that.
I didn’t pay attention to my escalation ladder. In V1 I was able to compliment her on her character and in V2 her soft skin, but I missed her nice lipstick. Only really a small error. She didn’t take either of the compliments that well anyway.
After few minutes at the table and general chit chat, showed her some photos on my phone, I suggested we move to the booth because my bum was getting sore. She resisted for the first time on the date and it derailed me. This was my opportunity to show her my persistence in a charming and calibrated manner, but I failed. I really should have moved anyway and said. “Well I need to sit on the couch, if you like that chair so much you can bring it with you.” Then I could have relaxed and let her do all the work, which she would have, and eventually brought her in to look at some more photos.
Instead I gave her a bit of coldness as I watched the band, which was ok as I needed to recognize her resistance to the couch bounce and go a bit slower, but I also knew I needed to get closer to her and get her in a love bubble that she was resisting.
What I needed to do was get up and go to the toilet and assess the situation and most likely come back and play the questions game. But I let the conversation get stuck in comfort quicksand. I did my best to give her seductive eyes, but the seating arrangement wasn’t good and I couldn’t lean back and be relaxed.
This exhausted me and I started not paying attention to her. I said I was tired and we called it a night. There was no animosity and I gave her a nice hug when we left and patted her head which she lent against me, but not completely floppy. There is a chance she will meet me for a second date, but a good chance I blew it.
Until writing this I didn’t realize how much I failed with the couch bounce. I showed my lower value by sitting in a seat that was uncomfortable because she wanted to. Even if she didn’t know this, it changed my whole vibe and I presented a low value vibe because I ceased to be in control of the momentum and escalation of the date.