Woke up depressed. I’m stuck on a girl I don’t want to be stuck on. I don’t know her, I don’t have any real bonding or history with her. It is just my “love” chemicals playing up. They feel almost like toxins, they have no logical reason for being there. I want and need to be loved and if a women wants to sleep with me it fills that need. I feel like I am failing at daygame and failing at pick up.
I spend the morning writing about my failed date with her and hit the streets to daygame. My mood is ok, but my energy for daygame is so low. I weasel out of a few approaches because the girls look too young. I would have approached these girls last week, but my confidence is just too low. I feel old and unworthy and any rejection might send me into an abyss of negativity. I see an attractive women – not too young, but she looks to serious for me and Australian (I think other nationalities are easier), I feel unworthy to stop her. I walk the entire length of the Queen St mall and still haven’t approached. I remember hearing from someone if you haven’t approached in the first 10 minutes to just go home. But I can’t give up, it’s too early in the day and I fear going home and being on my own.
I see a woman that my DNA calls to and do the front stop on her. I start my spiel and she looks at me with warm eyes, but she looks too young and I eject saying “Sorry, I thought you were someone else” my standard “too young” ejection. I walked away and thought to myself, she greeted me friendly and was at least over 18 years old. I could have just stayed in set.
I continue walking, hoping that it may have warmed me up a little bit and see a European looking girl walk past and approach her. As I get in front of her she looks familiar and I lose my script, asking her if we have met. She says I approached her in West End. I can’t remember our interaction at all, but she seems friendly enough and not in a huge hurry to go, we banter for a little while, but I’m derailed by this being the second time I have approached her and assume that I was rejected the first time because I don’t have her number. I run out of things to say and she says she has to go to work. I let her go shaking her hand and teasing her at what a strong handshake she has.
I notice at least my body language and tone was confident. I must have built a “daygame” persona of this confident guy that I now can go into by default, but it’s only an act and when my vibe is this bad women will pick up on it. I would maybe do better if I acted nervous. I realize I haven’t had lunch and that would make my vibe low, and also recognize I must be in a bad way to not even be hungry. Love chemicals flooding my body and taking away my appetite. I am the sort of person who can’t ever miss a meal except in a relationship break up. This is so fucked up. I haven’t even had a relationship break up, so affected by my failed date from the night before.
I have a cup of noodle soup at the Vietnamese take away shop and decide if I should go home or continue. I could go home and write about my experiences and work on my blog or I could persist on the street. If it was the end of the week and I had done 30 approaches then maybe I could allow myself to do that, but it was the first day of daygame for 4 days. I had had my break so I decided to go back onto the streets.
Cute little Latina gives me eyes so I run back and approach her and we talk for a bit, she dosen’t really hook and tells me she needs to go shopping. She declines my offer for a drink and I let her go. I must really suck, can’t even close a girl that gives me an IOI.
I go and have a break in the library and listen to a self-hypnosis mp3 for 30 minutes hoping this might refuel me. My wing Ian texts me when I am finished and we meet for a chat while he finishes his late lunch. We talk about life and game and my energy is fine around him. I tell him my woes and make a Freudian slip calling them “love toxins” as opposed to “love chemicals” We laugh and he agrees how toxic they can be.
We hit the streets and I approach a girl who smiles with an all too knowing grin, like either I have approached her before or other Brisbane daygamers have. The daygame gods aren’t being kind to me. We see a hot young girl and Ian prompts me to approach. I feel too unworthy and tell him to do it. She warms to him and they spend 10 minutes talking. I walk aimlessly having lost all my mojo to approach, and decide to go home. Ian texts me and I go back and meet him. He tells me she was French and has only one night left in Brisbane and they have set up a date for later that evening. I am happy for him, but it makes me feel even worse.
He suggests I approach a hot girl that walks past and I confess how unworthy I feel and I’ve lost all my “game”. He says something encouraging that I hardly even hear and don’t remember. I see a hot brunette, mid twenties, skimpy clothes, tattooed shoulder, hotter than any girl I have approached all day. “Let’s test that assumption” I say to Ian and double take and approach her expecting full well another disaster.
She gives me a warm inquisitive smile and knows my intentions straight away. She is Swiss with a French accent and is even hotter up close, she hooks mildly and asks a few questions. She is just about to meet her friend and has plans for the evening, but agrees to have a drink with me another time and gives me her number. I do one more approach with no success and decide to quit while I am behind. I spend the evening with a male friend and have a few texts back and forth with my oneitis I haven’t even fucked, but she won’t agree to come over.
Today is a new day and I need to shake these toxins. I’ve deleted her number and decided no more contact. This is a hard choice, but I’ve allowed myself to get too emotional about her and I don’t think you can go back from that. This is the only date since November last year that I have experienced this, so think it’s for the best. Today I plan to do 25 approaches and kick these “love toxins” in the arse. It’s Good Friday so the city will be dead, but Southbank will be busy and the markets are on all day. Let the games begin.
I didn’t get my 25 approaches, but I did do 9. It was harder at Southbank with less people, but I was able to get into a pretty good state and. I was with my friend, who wasn’t doing any approaches but was interested in the social theory of daygame and was just there for support. We have a long history of watching and discussing cricket together and as my state and vibe started to get better I talked with him and likened it to “form” when batting in cricket. Once you hit this “form” or “flow” state in cricket every ball that gets bowled to you now becomes an opportunity to make runs from and attack rather than an opportunity to get you out and defend.
My vibe in daygame at that moment was good enough that I had very little fear of being blown out. I felt that whatever women I walked up to was going to appreciate my approach and welcome me. They might be married or just not like me, but my frame and vibe was strong enough that they couldn’t possibly disrespect me unless they were a sicko. I felt high and remembered why I did daygame.