I am part of a closed FB group where one of the members in his forties shared about his experience of having a younger girlfriend heavily pregnant and how that will affect his relationship and daygaming in the future. He states he wants to continue daygaming, but is concerned if it will affect his new child’s upbringing.
Some of the replies felt very blue pill, fear-based, and even white knighty – saying that daygame would become and bone of contention, his girlfriend would demand exclusivity sooner than later, and he would most likely break her heart. I don’t disagree with these. I disagree with the assumption that they are reasons not to live your life they way you see fit.
I am 41 and have 3 kids aged 5, 8, 11, and 19. I go and stay with the three young ones and their mum 2-3 days a week. I started daygame just over a year ago, but have not lived with them more than 3 days a week for about 5 years, and have never been very monogamous.
I enjoy being a parent and a caring partner, but trying to do it under the social norms I saw around me, and believed was expected of me, was claustrophobic. About 5 years ago my business required me to go away for 3-4 days a week. I didn’t realize I would enjoy it so much. I no longer need to, but I choose to live in Brisbane 4-5 days a week, while my kids and their mum live 2 hours north in a country town I visit weekly. Yes, the kids would like to see me more, but I believe they see me enough for a healthy balanced upbringing.
I see my role as a father is to show strong, masculine, loving energy and be present enough to share that with them, which I am. If I was there under duress because I felt like I had to, I would be neglecting this role as a father. A strong man looks after himself first. I need to be right within myself to be able to give my greatest gift to the kids and their mum – strong masculine energy.
What goes on in Brisbane stays in Brisbane. One of the big lessons I have had from the red pill is that honesty with your mate/s is not a clever strategy. I used to be so honest (and needy) and share everything. My sexual relationships are much better now I choose to have privacy. I don’t lie so much. I give myself permission to have privacy. I don’t show my hand. I treat the mating dance for what it is – “game”. *Disclaimer – I do have some close male friends I am completely honest with. This is necessary for my mental health – secrets can do damage to your psyche.
Yes. You might end up breaking your girl’s heart, but this is the game, you won’t be the first nor the last.
Yes, every girl is eventually going to demand exclusivity. She might also demand a diamond necklace – that doesn’t mean you have to give it to her.
Yes, sooner or later the daygame lifestyle will be a bone of contention. You get the choice to bend to her frame or live in your own and suffer the consequences.
For me to live the lifestyle I live I have to be completely willing for her to leave me. I have to be willing for another man to raise my kids and live in what was once my house. I do have fears about this, but choosing my true path instead of being restricted by fear is what I want to be as a man. The more I live the daygame lifestyle the more secure in myself I am and the less I am afraid of being single and becoming a “lonely old man”.
There is so much talk about evolutionary biology in daygame theory and justifying sowing our wild seed as science and human, to not want to raise kids is preposterous to me. I’m not sure why you wouldn’t want to explore that side of human nature. Red pill doesn’t just apply to people without kids. Daygame, hedonism, and polygamy are not mutually exclusive to raising children.