A Columbian girl, 33 year old, dark hair, nice olive skin, deep brown eyes, cute little nose that showed some signs of once being broken and not set back properly, full lips, and a warm smile. She was about 5’4” and 47kg, with small breasts, shapely arse and flat stomach.
She gave me a big smile when we met and even a small embrace so she got one point for warmth, we walked down the mall to find a nice place to sit so we could relax and chat. After about a minute of sitting next to her and feeling pretty relaxed I realized “I am really attracted to this girl”. She had her bag in between us so kino was hard, but I’m sure see saw the change in my eyes.
She commented how it had gotten hot, so I bounced her to a secluded air-conditioned spot at the back of the food court on a bench seat. I was able to dial up the attraction here and told her how I realized how attracted to her I was and how much I wanted to kiss her when we were sitting out on the seat outside. She seemed to like this and I asked her to describe the physical characteristics of her ideal man as a lead up to the twin brothers routine. She basically described me with green eyes, so I did the twin brothers routine with one blue-eyed brother and one green eyed (impossible for identical twins I think, but good for the routine). She was receptive to this and we got into that nice glow.
She asked me if I had any tattoos and I said, “Yes, but you will have to wait to see them” with a cheeky grin. I asked her and she also said yes, and I replied. “I will get to see it later” and she seemed to resign herself that this was the case, and I felt like it’s on. “She just sort of agreed to fuck me”. Looking back, I think this was too direct and made sex inevitability instead of a mystery and took a lot of the fun out of it for her.
She had already told me she wanted a husband and babies, and I had told her that wasn’t me, which she accepted and said she was open to different possibilities in her life. When we talked about romance and love, she said how she loved attention and I joked telling her that I would adore her and shower her with attention and romance, but not babies and a husband. I was trying to be honest and put myself in r not K, lover not provider, but now I look back I think I was being too logical and “negotiating” a relationship, trying to find mutual ground. This sounds perfectly reasonable to me, but I am learning this is not how women deal with sex. Providers negotiate, lovers joke and tease and never use logic to seduce.
She had already made plans for that afternoon so I closed strong and discussed our next date letting her know my intent and how much I wanted to get romantic with her. She wanted to go to the toilet, so I walked with her and was tempted to pull her into the disabled toilet, but I thought if I over escalated she would have buyers remorse and it would ruin it for me later. I was also really into this girl and wanted a night of passion rather than 10 minutes in a disabled toilet.
As we said good-bye I picked her up and hugged her with her wiggling and hitting me on the arms, yelling “put me down” with a big smile on her face. I held her there for long enough to put her down on my terms, not because she was asking me to, and pulled her in for a hug which she complied and then I kissed her forehead and said goodbye.
She was very busy working two jobs and didn’t have much spare time so we had made arrangements to meet for another afternoon date on Tuesday in between her jobs, as we weren’t going to be able to go out for an evening date together for a couple of weeks as she was going away for Easter. Tuesday morning she texted to say they had changed her shift and couldn’t meet before 10pm.
It’s on I thought, “She wants to meet me at 10pm” I messaged her “I can’t meet you tonight at 10pm but I can tomorrow night”. She replied, “Ok, but I will be tired and not great company”. Tired might be keyword for “I want sex”.
I sent her a message as I was leaving my house for the 20 minute walk to meet her in the city saying “Just leaving now, see you soon” She replied saying ”Ok, but not to close. I have been working and am really smelly”. I was a bit taken back by this, but decided to just play with it and reply “Poooooo”
My plan was to take her to a café near my house under the rouse of it being near my car that I could then drive her home. We sat on a seat in the city for a bit and I suggested we go to this café for a hot chocolate which is near my “car” and then I could drive her home instead of her getting public transport, which she agreed to. I fucked up here by saying car. I really should have said “house, where my car is”.
As we were walking she tried to put me in the friend box by saying how she wanted to make friends and wanted me to introduce her to my friends and she would introduce me to hers. I said that there was no way I was introducing her to my friends as they would think she was too hot and try and steal her from me. But I think I went to far and said. “I will only introduce you to my friends after we have had sex” She commented that I was too confident, which is not a bad thing, but I think she saw some incongruence and she saw through me that I wasn’t that confident.
I also made the mistake of bringing up the topic of sex up and took away the mystery and part of the seduction, and also took away her plausible deniability. Still, it was retrievable and we walked in comfort and I talked about my week and tried to dial down the escalation for bit as we walked towards my house/the cafe.
Huge Mistake 1
When we got close I pointed and said “my house is just up there”. Ten seconds later she said she needed a shower. I can’t believe I missed this. I had a plan in my mind and wasn’t flexible enough to deviate, we were going to romantically share a hot chocolate in this nice little café and then I would entice her back to my house.
But what I needed to do say, “come one we will just go to my place quickly and you can have a shower” and then just lead, take her by the hand and make her feel like there was really no other choice.
We go in the café. I tell her to pick a seat and I will buy the hot chocolate. She chose a seat where we were sitting opposite each other which I thought was good, as it would allow comfort and then I would escalate once I got her back to mine. She stared me straight in the eyes and actually almost mesmerized me, which showed a bit of weakness on my part. At this point I should have probably bounced her to a bench seat so we weren’t sitting next to each other and I could have fractionated between escalation and comfort better. We played the questions game which was fun, but then got to deep into conversation and she went all logical on me and told me that she had had lovers and she didn’t want that anymore and now wanted to only invest her time on someone that had potential to be in a long term relationship.
This was a test I failed. I was upset by this and showed it in my body language. I had built up expectations around sleeping with her and I was watching my chances slip away before my eyes and she could tell. I didn’t say much except that I didn’t really understand, but that I didn’t need to, it was only important that I respected whatever she felt as valid. But I’m sure she saw my body language and energy drop and this would have been both unattractive and incongruent with the man I had presented myself as.
It could have been worse and I could have tried to convince her that a lover like me would do for the short term or even worse agreed to be willing to be her long-term partner. But what I need to do was agree and amplify, tell her that it would never work out between us and that I was planning to have a harem of 7 wives and she would be too jealous and then bounce her back to my house to fuck.
I did bounce her back to my house, but my confidence and energy had taken a major hit and I was no longer as capable of moving her to seduction. We got to my house and she went straight to my car and said. “Come on lets go to your car”. “I’ve got to get my keys, and you should come and see my house” I replied. I took her through the kitchen and into the lounge where she sat on a single couch and said. “I’ll wait here”. I got my keys and then at a loss for what to do I gave up and said. “Come on. I’ll drive you home”
Even in all my fuckups over the last hour I still believe I could have saved the day and got her into bed. I needed to at least try and lead her to the double couch to sit with me for a couple of minutes and then tell her. “I want you to relax and be more comfortable around me. I don’t want you to feel any pressure. I’ll take you home whenever you want. Why don’t you have a shower and at least then you will be comfortable to sit close to me and even maybe I’ll give you a cuddle, and as soon as you want I’ll drive you home”. Then just got her a towel.
This might have been all I needed, but instead I drive her home. Doh!