It’s been almost two years since I did my first approach. That was a scary moment. I remember the train trip into the city, meeting a guy I had met on a pick-up forum – I thought he was a bit weird but didn’t want to be too judgemental. The rising terror in me as I stood with him and his friend, and I was expected to jump in front of a girl and say. “You look nice”. Since then I have done this almost three thousand times. I have been on countless dates and have been laid from daygame over ten times.
But in the last few months my results, at least on the street, have declined. At first, I thought it was vibe and it would pass. I believed I would hit form again. I figured I had done the work and it was just a bad patch. I had approached more women than a 99.99% of the population, I had been through the Hell-fires of beginner daygame and had come out a new, more confident, man. I had studied the texts, watched the videos, memorised lines, and found my own style. And I had a consistent sex life
But, my daygame sucked. I no longer felt like I was getting better at it. There was a time a few months ago where I felt so calm and comfortable in set. It was the peak of my street game. I rarely got blowouts, even the unavailable girls would stop and have a chat and soak up my manliness before they told me they had a husband, etc. I wasn’t approaching nearly as much. I listened to other daygame friends who had reduced their approach rate significantly and were enjoying it more. Things like “Only go out and daygame when you feel like”. “Only approach girls that look available.” Etc. The advice seemed to work for them and one day might work for me, but over the last few months, it just gave me an excuse to be lazy in a skill set I was trying to master and had become at least competent in.
Ten years ago, after watching Wimbledon late at night on TV, I signed up at my local tennis club and started playing three or four times a week. Every week I would see improvements in my game and this made me enjoy playing it even more. Then I got busy with work and started playing only once per week. I never played as good as I knew I could and this was frustrating. After a month or two decided if I didn’t have enough time to play three times a week I wouldn’t play at all. I don’t think I have played since.
Recently I have been trying to integrate daygame into my lifestyle. I pack my bag with my laptop and kindle and head into the city. I do a lap of Queen St mall and then go and do some work in a café or the library. When I get sick of working I go for another walk and do a few approaches then head back and do some more work or reading. The idea is I have more time on the street and statistically more time to find the “yes” and “maybe” girls. In theory, it sounds great, and it was ok, but the reality is I am both distracted from work and daygame.
It started to dawn on me how much more I enjoyed, and how much more productive I was, working from my home office. I thought the same might be true for daygame so as an experiment yesterday I decided to work from my home office until 3 pm and then do a two-hour session of daygame and try and do 10 approaches. This is much more like what I used to do – treating daygame as a discipline. Sure an enjoyable discipline, but with tangible girls. I was doing it to date and fuck hot girls.
I remembered how I used to psyche myself up for a daygame sarge by doing some yoga, affirmations, memorizing routines, reading daygame blogs/books or watching in-field videos. I decided to watch some of my daygame overkill videos. I watched about 10 minutes of his first in-field and it was like I had never seen it before. Nick’s technical breakdown of the craft reinvigorated me. I had learned all this stuff. I just wasn’t applying much anymore. I had gotten lazy with my technique – like no longer focussing on the technique of my serve and just hitting it because most of the the time it would go in “well enough” to get a rally started.
I got dressed in my daygame clobber and hit the streets. I let my mind clear of the technique because now I was playing, training was over, this was game time. As I started to walk I felt my hips sway and arms swing. I was in my daygame swagger. I let a few girls go past I could have opened and counted the weasels, that’s number two I could have opened and didn’t. I got to Queen St and still hadn’t opened anyone. I felt a little bit of approach anxiety. I was on a sarge. I wasn’t coming to the city on the pretext of doing some work and maybe a few opens. I had done my work for the day. Now I was in the city to find girls to fuck! The anxiety felt good and woke me up.
The first one’s the worst one – just open and get the ball rolling. There was a dark girl in an avocado green sweater meandering around the top of the mall looking at her phone, a passable six. She’ll do. “Excuse me. I just saw you there and thought you looked very nice. You look a like a big avocado” She looked at me in shock. OMG, did I just say that? “Yes, I like it” I said to save myself. We chatted for a bit and she said she was in the city to buy her newly wedded husband a gift, but didn’t know what to get the man that has everything. I told her since he has everything she should go and buy some sexy lingerie for herself and surprise him with it.
I went on my way in a better vibe now I had opened and had a chat. I did a few more approaches, some blowouts, some “I have a boyfriend”, but ended up doing ten approaches and got three numbers – only one replied but looks solid. My daygame was still shit. I knew how much better I used to be, but we were on the right track. Having finished my daygame commitment of ten approaches I was happy to call it a day and walk home. I put in my headphones to listen to Tony Ferguson being interviewed on the MMA Hour. He had just won the UFC interim light-weight title over the weekend. He talked about his training and how he drilled all the techniques of boxing, wrestling, jujitsu, and muay thai over and over again so come fight night he didn’t have to think about them. They were deep in his muscle memory and it was his job just to relax and have faith he had done the training.
Daygame is a skill, there is a body of techniques and technical analysis by pioneers such as Mystery, Ross Jeffries, Yad, Paul Janka, Tom Torero and Nick Krauser. There is so much to read and learn so that, if I do the work, come game time I don’t have to think about them. They will be deep in his muscle memory and my job is just to relax and have faith I have done the training.