Daygame can be tough. The amount of rejections you have to go through to get good at daygame is pretty full on and this can take it’s toll. I mostly hear beginner advice online about grinding and putting in the hours to overcome approach anxiety.
I believe this is only half the truth, keep in mind a lot of this advice is from people wanting to sell training materials and it’s their job to show off their indifference to rejection and if you buy their product you too will have zero approach anxiety.
At this stage I have done 180 approaches and I get burnt out every week or two. The approach anxiety has reduced greatly, but I still find it tiring. I feel anxiety when I get ready to go out and depending on my mood, just the thought of daygame gives me some anxiety.
Change of scenery
When I get to about 4-5 days daygame straight and have done 20-30 approaches my energy starts to fade, having so many interactions there will always be some that don’t go as well as I hope for. When my energy is down, I can dwell on these and get down even further.
When I notice this happening, it’s time for a break. I moved to Brisbane City to specifically to get good at daygame, so when I need a couple days break from it I like to get away. I find it hard to let go of my commitment to daygame, so whenever I see a girl I’m attracted to I feel bad if I don’t approach, so for me getting away from my “daygame playground” of Brisbane City gives me a bit more chance to revitalize.
I have a warehouse in Redcliffe with an office and bedroom there so that is a good opportunity to throw myself into work. The population is much smaller there and nowhere near as many opportunities to approach hot women.
The thing about trying to form a habit is that once you are successful in making something a habit, by definition it’s hard not to do. So even when I take time off from daygame the desire to approach is still there.
After working for the day in my warehouse I like to walk along Margate beach. On my most recent trip I headed down to the beach, didn’t do my hair, wore some daggy shorts and no shoes or t-shirt. As I was walking along the beach I was really grateful for having my warehouse in this area, I looked down at my bare belly, protruding a couple inches further than I would like, and felt so free to be able to go out in public looking like a dag and not have to worry about my appearance like I had been in Brisbane city actively doing game. I could feel the sand on my feet, and the sun and wind on my body and it was great to have the pressure to approach gone.
First Bikini Approach
Before long I looked up ahead and saw a girl with a hot body sunbaking in a bikini. “Why not” I thought. I waited till I got close enough to see her face and make sure she was in my acceptable age bracket, generally over 25, and I approached her. It went pretty bad; she was German and didn’t speak much English and just thought it was really weird that I approached her and she didn’t trust me at all. I has happy with my energy, body language and voice tone and I hung in there for long enough, but some girls just aren’t into it.
I walked away really happy with myself. My approaches had become results orientated only as far as the results I could control like if I approached and then how I approached. The girl’s reaction, while important to me, wasn’t in my control. I also realized I had just made my first bikini approach, and certainly not looking my best. My first 250 approaches are to be dedicated to overcoming approach anxiety, so this was a pretty good one.
Low Energy Game
I came back to Brisbane and jumped straight into daygame and went into the city. It was raining off and on and I still hadn’t got my energy back. I did my 7 or so approaches, which is usually my minimum quota on a sarge and each one was getting progressively worse and my energy reduced. It would have been much easier with a wing, but there was no one available, so committed as I am, I had to do it on my own.
It was interesting to see myself push through. To be able to still overcome approach anxiety on my own, in bad weather, and with energy so low that it was unlikely I would get a good response from any woman. But I thought if I can do it now, it will just make it that much easier when I am feeling good about myself.
The next day was raining again and very overcast. I just couldn’t bring myself to dress up all flash and go into the city, so I decided that I would dress a bit more casual and just go for a walk and listen to my podcasts, and not think if I would do any approaches or not. I even walked along the river where there was a lot less people and less approach opportunities. I got to Southbank and started to see girls worth approaching. The habit kicked in and I approached four girls before making my way back home. I didn’t get any numbers, but noticed how easy the approaches were becoming and it put me in a pretty good mood.
Back in the Zone
The next day I was more energized and went into the city and smashed it, one instant date and two phone numbers. We will see if anything more comes of these, but it was just good to know I can push through, take a break and manage my energy levels with the goal in mind of daygame being a learned skill and habit.