These ones are after my coaching session with Ian where I have adjusted my approach to come out wider, use my hand more, changed my opener to “this is a little bit crazy” and trying to reduce the pause from open to assumption stack.
This was challenging as I was a bit caught up in my head paying attention to technique and lost my biggest asset for pickup being my hind brain and inner core and attractiveness as a man.
I used this post as part of my daygame exercises to get better at improve and stacking assumptions. This has worked well as in subsequent approaches I was able to implement what I had written in these “should have said” commentary.
I did most right here apart from my vibe being off, she even smiled a bit when I called her dangerous and asked about the gun. I let her go but could have said. “I know your in a hurry, but just want to ask you one more thing.” “You look very exotic and beautiful and I’m wondering what your heritage is, I can tell you don’t have an accent, but I’m guessing your parents are Asian….”
“And if I was to guess I would say you look like a student and the dangerous persona is really only a front and deep down your probably quite studious and hard working.”
I can tell by your soft voice that people come to you for help and being there for your friends and family is really important to you, but I can also tell by the way you hold your shoulders that you sometimes take on more responsibility than you can handle.”
This is from a cold reading book I read where you can say things that applies to 95% of women.
This woman was tall and slim and had the perfect pair of tits, that were only half covered, with her cleavage jumping out and saying hi, so when I was about to start the assumptions I had to think of something else to say when the only thing in my mind was “look at those tits”.
She was stylish so I went with that and although I fumbled my words a lot there was some good assumptions here. “Looking very serious” was good, but I think I could have omitted “I always like to test my assumptions” and just moved onto the strict school teacher which she seemed very receptive to.
She liked the strict school teacher, but didn’t hook and reveal what she was, so stacking to European was ok. Here she gave me something so I could have gone on with a stereotype of Finland. “Ahhh, that’s where the serious look comes from. I imagine half of Finland in small cubicles in large buildings full of fluorescent lights because it is dark so much for a lot of the year and the other half living in little mountain cottages farming sheep and eating potato soup”
This would have been a good time to see if she was married or travelling with her partner and explore the possibilities of her availability rather than waiting to the end to find out if she had a husband. It would also have meant that this topic wasn’t coming up as she was about to walk away and I could have found out if her husband was here or in Finland, who knows the deal she has, she may have been available.
She brought up her work and again this was another piece of info that I didn’t capitalize on. “Marketing, I’ve done a bachelors in marketing, but I can’t remember any of it. I imagine your research involves one way mirrors and testing groups of people. You’re not doing any animal experiments are you on what colour toothpaste sells best.”
Talking about the weather, you miss home – kiss of death.
Shoes is ok, but I’m jumping around topics way to much and not staying on them long enough, I’m still nervous in set and deep down can’t believe that this smoking hot women is giving me her time.
Close was a bit stronger, but I can still do better.
This was a tough set. See was looking at me like I needed to justify my existence and why she should even consider being attracted to me. My open was good and light teasing and saying what I saw was ok, but inflected my voice just a little too much.
Moved topic too quick to “your from Europe”. I should have just played with her character. “So let me guess” and stood back and checked her out up and down very sexually. “You rode in here on your horse, but he’s an old horse and he gets tired and you didn’t know what his energy was going to be like today so your thought you better wear your trainers and gym gear because there was every chance you were going to have walk”
“Actually now I think about it, you look more like a student” Then in an accusational tone. “I bet you don’t even have a horse and you aren’t a cowgirl at all. I think you just have this tough exterior but in reality you a bit bookish, a good student that brings apples for your teacher…. ”
Blue eyes is good and one of my go to compliments because mine are blue too and it usually becomes one of those eye locking moments.
I did my best to keep her and tested my ability to keep ploughing and stacking and talking about Redcliffe was good and I was able to finish a bit stronger, but I felt I had already lost the set with all the interview questions and just let her go. Now I listen to the reply, I realise this is was a perfect opportunity for me to at least go for the number by telling her I’m there every week and we can go to the beach together.
This girl was really hot and quite young. I went back to my old opener just out of habit but moved through it well and didn’t seek her validation by pausing between the compliment and the first assumption.
She was really open to the relaxed “head in the clouds” routine so I could have embellished it a bit more telling her “You looked like you were gliding over the footpath like a an Arabian princess on a magic carpet. I Liked it, it was very beautiful. “
Her warm vibe and strong eye contact made it very easy to chat with her.
I inflected “shopping” too much. “Maybe you just like shopping that much” was good, but I didn’t need to laugh as a response to her laugh, that was validation seeking. Just a cheeky grin would do and further stack with. “You look like the type of girl that has a lot of clothes, an outfit for every occasion, and I can just see you now with 3 outfits lying on the bed and you trying them all on and then choosing something completely different…….. I can see you are very stylish and take pride in your look”
I did say she was very stylish, but this was completely out of context, not even sure where it came from.
I did well to move her to out of the rain, but instead of “Have you got a minute?” weak weak weak. I needed to say “I’ve only got a minute, but lets move under cover”
You look like a tourist isn’t bad and I even went on with it a bit, but I could have done more along this line. “How long have you been here” could have been omitted, it’s just too boring, but talking about her accent was pretty good. “I don’t like it was a pretty good” challenging statement and I was able to soften it and make it ok, by saying I liked hers.
I tried something funny here and used a bit of Ross Jeffries sexual metaphor by saying her accent was “hard in your mouth”. And I said it quite well in nice even tone and with dead-pan eye contact.
She asked me if I lived locally, so here is the hook point!! And I think it was reasonable to ask her the same question.
Same as her asking me what I do and then following her up with the same question. I think I was able to relax a bit her and we have moved from the stack to vibing and comfort part of the “daygame model”
I tried being challenging and teasing about interior designers but I was too nice. I could have got away with a lot more than this. My words were ok, but I could have created more tension by not laughing or smiling as much, and certainly not justifying the bitchiness of interior designers by blaming my product category of “landscape product”
I didn’t need to ask if she had a boyfriend and then justify my question with that dribble. I was trying to get out of the friend zone and state my intent, but I would have been much better off just saying. “I find you really attractive and love your energy. I would like to catch up another time” and then just pull my phone out.
And for the final nail in the coffin I inflected “I’ll grab your number.” Believe it or not, with all the weakness of this set, especially for a really hot girl in her early 20’s she has actually replied my texts and we are having a fun text banter. I’ll update if I can get her on a date and how I mange to fuck that up.
This is the best one I have done so far, I just kept stacking the assumptions and playing with the topic that I had created and she seemed to enjoy it.
Engaged her in a bit of game play about where her parents were from. And then teased her about her Lebanese Aussie accent. This would have been funnier if she was more familiar with TV shows like “Meet the Habibs” and “Housos”
This is also a pretty cool story about my fashion business idea. I’m not talking myself up too much, but am able to tell a bit about myself.
When she mentioned fabrics from India I could have got her to talk more about this and expand on the type of fabrics she was drawn to, the colours, patterns, textures and feel. And then I could have spiked sexually by getting her to show me the long flowing pants she was wearing and letting me feel the fabric.
I probably didn’t need to tease her about dressing up Barbie dolls, would have been better to explore her passions and spike sexually rather than teasing.
That was pretty cool that I blamed her for making me late. But then closed weak, inflected my voice and asked instead of told. Should have said with a flat voice. “This has been fun, let’s catch up again later” and just pulled out my phone.
I handled the age issue well and then turned off the recording to take her number.
This approach was fine and I dealt with her question “what can I do for you” well enough. She hooked very early asking me questions and her being Philippine made teasing less culturally calibrated.
I inflected her name, which wasn’t too bad and I imagine my eyes lit up and I smiled – everyone likes their name being sung like that, but I could do it with a cooler non inflected voice.
My voice might have been almost too calm and collected and not enough energy or smile here. It’s fine to say I noticed your Scandinavian features, but I need to continue stacking on top of that. So when she said German I could have said. “I imagined you more nordic, like a shield maiden out of vikings, you look pretty strong, like you could handle a shield and sword. I suppose you needed to learn those skills at school to fight all the boys off with sticks because of your radiant beauty”
Bad bad bad, asking questions like I am interviewing her for a job.
I’ve also got to get better at persisting with the approach, but I think I had already lost this one with the interview type questions. In any case I got her talking a bit more and should have at least tried to number close. “Look I’ve got to go too, so lets exchange numbers and we can catch up another time when we’re not so busy”
Not bad but, inflected “weed” and “dreamy” in seeking validation from this girl. Inflected Italy and shouldn’t have changed subjects so quick – I was talking about her dreamy state and she had given me that she had a late night, what’s more, when I said partying she said “no working”. I could have gone on with this and role-played more by standing back, looking her up and down and saying. “Up all night working…. Mmm… well you don’t look like a nurse and you don’t look like a security guard… I know you’re a bank robber and you and your crew were out last night and you’re the getaway driver and you’ve been hiding out all day waiting for the police to go away, and now it’s afternoon you think it’s safe to come out.”
That’s pretty weak and boring accusing her of partying instead of working. I know she was an air hostess, but I said pilot because I thought it would be funny to guess wrong, but it was too close. I would have been better guessing truck driver or security guard.
“You look so relaxed. I like it” wasn’t too bad.
I had to ask when she was working again to organize logistics to see if I could get her out for a drink and a SDL, but I hadn’t built enough attraction for this yet.
At least she hooked a little bit and asked if I was from Brisbane and I did the right thing by slowing it down a bit here. I also got a bit heavier with the eyes and shook her hand and was still holding it. And at least I went for the number close and I think I did pretty well pushing for it without seeming too needy and calling out that the reason she should give me her number was because she was going to regret it later.
I need to stick longer on the topic I have started. “So I imagine you are high on window shopping and the smell of shoes and handbags and the glimmer of jewellery as you swan around the city has had a narcotic effect on you. And now in your mellow post shopping high you were just hoping to meet a good looking gentleman that might offer to take you out on a date one day if you can impress him enough with your charm and wit and good looks.”
The rest of this set was a train wreck.
Opening good, voice under control. I actually mirrored her, by laughing when she did after I said “come over and say hi”
She tested me a bit saying “did I think she looked drunk” and I failed. I should have amplified this by teasing her. “Yes, you were sort of swaying, a bit unsteady on your feet, slurring your words. I was actually just coming over here to help you so you didn’t fall over – I imagined you had a cask of wine in your bag or hip flask in your pocket”
I did ok to start talking about her accent rather than “Where are you from?” and she gave me I am sweedish very quickly – I needed to go into that. “When I think of Sweeden I think of a nation of blonde hair and blue eyes and Abba and very nice people, but now I have watched Vikings and I’m not so sure about nice – now I imagine people with swords and trekking through the snow in the mountains”
I finally got back to sweeden, but rain was the only thing I could think of. Also who cares if she is travelling, working, here for a year or 2 weeks, they are stupid questions I just keep repeating like an inquisition.
“I know when I travelled Europe I was in awe of how different things were. It was so exciting seeing the different architecture, catching the trains, even the shops were so different. I don’t know about you but I just love that feeling of exploring city that is so different to mine”
The glow, sweat comment wasn’t too bad, it spiked the conversation a bit.
Discussing her name is ok. Everyone loves their name. “How to Win Friends and Influence People”
She hooked a little bit. And I often use this “I live just across the bridge in West End” This is a Paul Janka idea to let them know you are a local as he thinks it adds some trust.
I should also mention I work from home and are around West End a lot, this usually leads to more questions.
It was good now I moved into comfort since she had hooked, but I should have dialed it down a bit more and got her to talk more about her experiences in West End and Southbank. Need to stick on topics longer. Vegetarianism is not a good topic for me since I am a unapologetic meat eater.
Closed weak asking for the number.
Need to stop saying with my friend, it makes them look around and adds something extra into the set that is just not necessary.
My voice is strong and I stack the assumptions and stay on topic. Architecture was an easy topic for me.
Kept her talking and didn’t let her go without completely disqualifying her. Feel I’m getting better.
This was a seated girl and 2 police were standing only 10 meters away talking to each other about something. This was a good opener and she loved it, but I showed weekness laughing at my own joke. The next part about “you stole my heart” seemed to go down ok, it was a Ross Jeffries pick up routine, but I forgot the most important part and that is to follow it up with. “I know that’s the world’s worst pick up line, but I figured you get approached by guys a lot so wanted to say something a bit out of the ordinary and wanted to see if you had a sense of humour that I could really enjoy” So it’s an implied compliment and qualifying statement (that she passed)
I did well to build some comfort here and kept good voice tone.
Even though I asked her a question I expanded on it a bit and talked about where she was sitting and even a small spike about her bum.
I did well talking about her looking different because that is what I truly thought and did well playing with the stern hostess “no more drinks for you” etc.
I liked I went back to her looking like a traveller because she was new and “rookie” was a nice teasing word to use.
I made an error calling out I knew what time she was leaving (approached too many air hostesses in front of this hotel lol)
And I shouldn’t mention I had met other cabin crew. Or use the term “jaded old hostess”. I would have been better off mentioning I used to date….
Going for the same day lay, I’m going to get one of these air hostesses one day.
Forgot her name, but made up for it by blaming it on her beauty.
Closed good by being the one to leave, but inflected “catch up for a drink” otherwise one of my better sets.