In my daygame journey so far I have improved my skill at approaching and getting into conversations with women and my number close rate is getting to about 20%. But most of these flake and I am not seeing the results I want of dates and lays. I want to recognize the improvements I am making so I will start with those and then move into some psychological reasons of what I think is happening with young women being attracted to me, but then thinking better of it later and not wanting to take things further. Most of my interactions are now quite fun and I still get into an interesting conversation with women that have boyfriends or husbands, and are not at all interested in me. At the beginning of my daygame these women would just say I have a partner and keep walking.
I am happy with this because it is only a minute or two of my time, gets my vibe up, and lets me practice my assumption stacking and getting used to being in front of a hot women. As a result of being able to get into conversations and make them fun I am able to close more numbers. My frame is much stronger and I am much more relaxed, which allows me to listen as well as talk. This allows me to be myself and use what ever little information she gives me to keep the interaction fun and easy, and getting closer to how I joke around with my male friends, but obviously with different content – because women wouldn’t like the content of my conversations with my male friends.
My social intelligence has increased and I think I am stopping girls that I feel are more likely to give me a good reaction, before I was a bit oblivious to this and would just stop on looks alone, but I think after 440 approaches that my mind now knows who to approach and my number rate is increasing because of this perhaps even more so than my skill level.
But why are they flaking?
A good example of this happened yesterday at West End markets. We were at the lights and this very hot and young Indian looking girl was also waiting for the lights to change. I asked her if she was going to the markets and we talked shit about that and then I moved onto her accent and heritage and more personal questions. She loved it and was very bubbly. I didn’t go for the number close because it didn’t feel that calibrated and I thought I would see her again at the markets and try then.
Half an hour later I did see her and her demeanor had changed, she was still friendly but no longer showing IOI’s with her body language like she had before and before we got too far in our conversation she said she was late for a social engagement. My friend was there who had observed both interactions and we were able to discuss it. He noticed the change in her too and said “She was attracted to you at the beginning and may even rub one out in her bed tonight thinking about you, but after she thought about it for 10 minutes she felt like a dirty slut. One for being attracted to an older guy, and two maybe culturally because of her Indian heritage and family.”
While annoying, this is pretty interesting. I have had a number of young women react in this way to only drop off later. I see two things that need to be done to overcome this. Firstly technique, I am starting to become aware of the need for comfort and to let women know more about me, so it feels like they know me better when we play the text game, but I need to carry this out without seeming like a jerk that just talks all about himself. I need to get women to invest by asking the questions to the answers I want to tell them. This is tricky and seemingly beyond my skill level at present, but I am experimenting with little bait and big bait, as per Roosh V “Day Bang”. I am having very little bites on my “bait” but I continue to practice and hope I can get better at it.
The second thing I need to change, and is a lot more subjective, is my vibe. I believe this can only be done by 100’s of hours of in-field practice. Going back to the scenario of young Indian girl being attracted to older guy. She is turned on, pupils dilate, butterflies in her stomach, maybe even her pussy is wet. Fantasies, conscious or sub-conscious, of strong older male taking the lead and seducing the naïve and less experienced fair maiden. Completely overwhelming her with his masculinity and sexual experience and allowing her to be free from the constraints that society places on her sexuality. A man that can take her to levels of seduction and feeling, like she has only ever dreamed of, but then this man shows a weakness. Something is not right and she just can’t place her finger on it, she gets confused about mixed signals I am giving her and this shakes her back to reality and she realizes I am just a normal guy and not the fictitious character of her fantasies.
I give myself away by slight micro-expressions of beta-male and doubt and the “provider” not the “lover”. What is the solution? Time in field, recognize my improvements and enjoy the process, enjoy going out each day, meeting women, getting numbers, and practice on my technique getting women to invest more and ask more questions. The more experienced I get the more relaxed I will be and less of these negative micro-expressions I will give off.