“You will most likely meet a lot of Ukranian girls here.” Said Rob, my new daygame friend, as we sat at Café Nero overlooking Chmielna St in Warsaw. “They are often a bit hotter than the Polish girls and can tend to be a bit lonely, the Poles don’t accept outsiders so well and the Ukrainian girls that come for school and work don’t have many friends here.”
“That is very nice of you to help them out like that.” I say.
“Yeah, that’s the sort of guy I am, I like to be helpful.”
“So I heard on the grapevine you slept with that girl I saw you approach when we were sitting here last week.” I said, both a little bit jealous, but also wanting to pry him for knowledge.
“Yes, it was all pretty straight forward, a couple drinks at the bar just there” He says as he points up the street. “And then just walked her to mine. We got to my apartment gate and I said. ‘Do you trust me?’ She said yes and I thought, silly girl, then I took her upstairs, had one more drink and sealed the deal.”
“Nice. Tell me more about the date.”
“Most my dates are the same, we go here for a drink and I slowly test for compliance. It has taken me a while to be able to work on autopilot and be more concerned with what the girl is giving back to me rather than what I am doing. Early days of dating I was very busy trying to work out what to say and do. Now I am more relaxed I can make them relax and then depending what body language they are giving me – eye contact, proximity etc. I start the physical compliance. If they are giving me strong eyes and leaning in I might do it in 10 minutes, if they are colder I might leave it 20-30 minutes. Then I will say you have small hands, good hands for a pianist, weird nails, whatever excuse I can find to touch their hands, then I gauge how comfortable they are with my touch.
If they flinch or pull away I back off and try again in 10 minutes with rings or another excuse, if they continue being uncomfortable I wrap the date up after one drink, but if they warm to me I move to tattoos and piercing questions. No matter what they say about piercings I can always touch their ear. If she doesn’t flinch from the ear touch it is on, if she does I will hold back and then ask about her about her hair a bit later – is it her natural colour, how long has she had etc. It’s like a computer game, they will tell you very clearly when they are giving you permission to move to the next level.”
“That’s interesting.” I say. “I am in my head a lot on dates trying not to under of over escalate, but what I want to be doing more is feint like a boxer, throw out these compliance tests and wait for her response for my answer. The other night I had a date with a girl who was really my type, she was my hottest lead in Warsaw so far. She was so compliant and warm with her body language after sitting with her for 15 minutes I thought to myself, I can probably kiss this girl, but I held back because I thought it was too soon and then when it was a more ‘appropriate time’ she got a bit cold to me and knocked me back when I did go for the kiss. I haven’t been able to get her out since” I said
“Yes, a dating model is only there as a guide, the speed at which you run the model needs to be entirely calibrated by what the girl gives back to you.” Says Rob